fool of a Took.

Sometimes "leather flowers" can look like "intestines" or "meat." Some things, my etsy friend, should not be made by hand. Case in point: meat.

things.

i can hardly believe things that say "diva" on them are still made/bought/sold/traded/found in couches. seriously they should have been cleaned out of couches years ago.

like a bat from hell.

"influencing" is not an adjective. as in, you cant use the phrase "influencing magazine." the answer would be Influential.

periods go inside quotation marks. (except in lord of the rings.)

the answers to those questions, all three: no

if you are using the phrase "one of" something, the something that follows are actually somethings. and should be plural.

dont emphasize trite phrases the rest of us thought up when we were 10 as though they are brilliant or original.

let us discover a way for you to delude yourself more.

hard to tell, but i dont hate anyone. i just think you are literally dumb.

and please, dont tell me about your wardrobe until you dress well.

like this human,

jag lever.

damn socialists.

i can be a freak.

i was just a normal person before i became a hipster.

-guess who.

nothing looks silly.

that is untrue.

(no relevance.)

i juuuuust feel like words written on blogs should be called blognarsh. no further explaination. and NO. i do not know how to spell explaination. explanation? and i do NOT have a Macintosh that spell checks everything i write. and i do NOT feel like looking it up on the Interweb because i look up words too often and it is no longer amusing. I have a feeling it is explanation. if this is true, then that is stupid, and im changing it to explaination. AAAAaaaand yes. i call myself a copyeditor and i do not know how to spell. guess what? i dont care. i also dont use apostraphes. DONT CARE.

just looked it up, damnit. it is explanation. eff. now its (it is minus the apostrophe) explaination.

money laundering.

"FBI agents then searched the person of Leslie Johnson incident to her arrest and recovered $79,600 in U.S. currency from her underwear," the affidavit said.

wild rabbit.

i like these things.

All of that cotton probably hurt. what an excellent faker.

where is shirley's cape?

probably my favorite ears ever.

As of late, i pretty much love it when i hear anyone say anything. like i hardly, if ever, get annoyed with anything anyone says. i feel like i never really did, but i definitely do not now. Even when people say the dumbest things, i just find humor in it and miraculously dont even make a judgment on the idiot who said it. i kind of just think they are smart or funny for coming up with something so stupid, thinking about it without immediate dismissal, and letting it pass their lips. This may or may not sound sarcastic, but i assure you, it is not.

In The Crossroads on Friday, i sat doing logic homework and simultaneously listening to the conversations of aliens around me. Amid the strangeness, i heard this sweet sentence, "I feel weird not having a treat! Every time he has come over i've had a treat."

I now have trouble analyzing such statements or even attempting to judge how stupid it is, how sad they are, or how fearful i am for society, due to the fact that they are so funnyyyy and soo gooood.

Another blissful dropped eve occurred in math 108 on Friday. (for those who don't know, math 108 is officially titled 'math for the real world.' The social structure of the class is strangely similar to being a regular-aged college student sitting in on a 10th grade algebra II class (but with less difficult material.)) Anyway, i arrived to class early. A girl and a boy sitting behind me engaged in conversation.

He asked simply and politely, "How are you?" She was somehow slyly able to replace a normal, simple, polite answer with a magical story. "His name is Bill. He led me on for three weeks. We like hung out, held hands, whatever. Then like three weeks later he just slowly started talking to me less. And apparently he started hanging out with other girls..." By this time the girl next to interesting girl had joined in giving advice. They both agreed and mentally forced boy to agree on certain arbitrary and slightly frightening points of the story. "I mean, who thinks they can hang out with multiple girls at one time? It is not like that in California at all! Why do us Californians think differently?"

A) i stopped listening when she said 'us Californians' instead of 'we Californians.' B) i have the good parts of this story properly stored because when i hear people say interesting things, i text them to myself. C) what delusional sort of person is this that assumed that her and bill were exclusively dating without an exchange of verbiage. D) Bill just thought he liked you then three weeks later decided he didn't like you so much, crazy. E) Good thing she is in this problem-solving class; she needs it. F) I swear on my life that i am not being sarcastic; i find this human and her words to be interesting, funny and intelligent.

That is all

oh if i do not mention kristin, i will be harmed.

~K-->H

Kristin + Mouth Sounds.

no, freakshow.

Fiasco.
I go upstairs.
I put on music.
I put on clear pants.
I put on giant leopard shirt.
I paint nails black.
Nails are wet.
I receive text from Taylor that he is downstairs.
I take off clear pants.
I put on opaque pants.
I mess up polish on thumb nail.
I go downstairs.
I say hello to Taylor.
I say goodbye to Taylor.
I walk upstairs.
I remove opaque pants.
I put on clear pants.
Basket of nail polish falls off door.
Nail polish bottles are everywhere.
I pick up nearest bottle to put it away.
It is wet.
I look around.
No colors are out of their bottles
I look closer.
A bottle is broken.
The bottle of clear nail polish is broken. (miracle?)
I start picking up pieces of glass.
I start throwing them away.
My hands become sticky.
It smells strongly of nail polish.
I pick up more pieces.
My fingers are so sticky I want to die.
Hair from floor collects on my fingers.
NON-BLONDE HAIR COLLECTS ON MY FINGERS.
I begin to have a panic attack.
Our vacuum apparently doesn’t work.
I go to the bathroom.
I start washing my hands.
Nail polish doesn’t come off easily.
I have apprehensive feelings.
Hair is still stuck.
I think I am crying.
Fifteen minutes has passed.
I leave the water running.
I return to my room.
I pick up more pieces.
I apply acetone to cotton balls.
I start rubbing the outside of bottles.
My newly painted polish rubs off.
I rub it the rest of the way off.
I pour bottle of acetone on the carpet.
It smells very unpleasant.
I go back to the bathroom.
I wash my hands.
I walk back to my room.
I light a caramel pecan candle.
I light a cinnamon pumpkin candle.
It is not enough.
Breathing is still difficult.
I think kortney has punctured my lung.
Fiasco.

i need to clear my thoughtsicles.

Sometimes it weirds me when people say things that are so incredibly obvious. (I am saying this while assuming that this is one of those things.) Not as in like 'ohh the lakers won something or other.' thats more than obvious. More like when someone says something like 'music says things in a different way than words.' or even 'i love music.' It makes me think you are handicap. I mean, im sure there may be people out there that dont love music. (i guess? i dont know any.) but if you are a twenty year old hipster, writing a blog about hipster things, to be read by hipsters, there is literally no need to say that you love music.

Things that are implied in their definition just dont really need to be voiced. Maybe it would be worth saying if you were a hipster and didnt like music, or a fish and never got sick of being in water all the time, or a stick of deoderant that didnt wish you were face wash, or a nigerian enjoying the weather in Rexburg, or something of the sort. I know i dont make sense, and i know this literally doesnt matter at all, and i do it, and everyone does it, but someone just annoyed me so i thought id point it out.

Here is something that ISNT obvious, my keyboard is broken and will randomly not process keys when i press them. It has therefore been quite difficult to type this. Another shocker, the aztek has been towed - for being parked in two spaces, being backed against the fence, and ALSo being without a parking permit. yeah that was really not shocking.

heres cool things that everyone already knows abouut:

these trashbags are kuler than regular trashbags.

this is a popsicle. i want to eat it.

i want to live here.

these people dress kul and do kul things.

good night.

deux par deux

I really and truly JUST realized that words don’t express music. I don’t know how I never had this thought before. But seven nation army just came on. And I seriously almost made my facebook status dum dum dum dum dum dum dum. And AS I started writing it, I realized “holy crap. No one will know what this is!” you actually need the rhythm, not just words. And now my mind is blown. Dummmm dum dum dum dum duuuum duuuum. Holy shiz. Still doesn’t do it. Oh my gosh. And even if you get the rhythm from the words, if you say them it still doesn’t sound like a guitar. WOW. It's going to take a while to wrap my mind around this one.

Seriously, button drum, MARRY ME.