heterosapiens.

not to worry, i have an assignment due in twenty five minutes, which has not been started. but i do not care because it is KORTNEY COOPER'S birthday. best day ever. more or less. but i did almost pee a couple of times. I am supposed to be writing this post about kortney's birthday. but i do not feel like it. So, i will just say (kortney i love you. you are my idol) and then i will continue to write about things that make me pee. in other words: hilarity. oh how horrible life would be if one couldnt turn sucky and/or pathetic occurences into the funniest things on the planet.

recent findings of hilarity:

1.unpleasant images, especially those of animals.

2. eating large bags of noisy candy during classes. and only sharing with jack, of world religions.

3. meghan mullin being the mob boss of my apartment.

4. hanging out at the junkyard, the coolest place in rexburg. so 90s, i can hardly take it.

5. as much as chanel is my idol, trying to make this happen. this is NOT going to happen.

6. small, pink darth vader

7. an asian and jamaican i know getting married. and naming their child jamasian. as in, "hi. i am half jamaican and half asian. my name is, therefore, jamasian." this is real.

8. when you text something hilariously embarrassing to a boy by mistake. My recent favorite is kortney, meaning to text alex, texting brady, "nothing like chillin on the couch in sweat pants like a beached whale on a Friday night."

9. stalking people who straight up hate us, who we straight up love, who straight up dont know we're kidding and are probably straight up scared and will most likely be executing a restraining order against us shortly.

10. Rita of arrested development. funniest television character i have yet seen.

11. the glittery purple baton sitting in my room.

12. falling off six inch heels. twice. two different days. both breaking my foot, and acquiring a purple tumor below my kneecap.

13. Kortney saying mhello like a one hundred year old texan. this never gets old. i am unable to say mhello without falling over laughing. i called kortney's grandfather and he answered with an abrupt MHELLO. twice. and i now know where she got it from.

14. being unable to forget names, and consequently knowing EVERYONE, when few of everyone know me.

15. the axe sitting on my bed side table.

16. eating dinner at sonic, kfc, taco bell, and ramire's in one night. Im not even going to say that this is gross, because it is hilarious.

17. i drive an aztek period

18. the fact that anyone who does not know us and reads our blog, probably assumes we are lesbians. surely we are not.

I could go on, but ill refrain. the funnier things get, the squeakier i become.

also, my assignment is no longer due in 25 minutes, but is past due by one hour and ten minutes.

later.